anitabuchan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
anitabuchan) wrote2006-10-13 07:26 pm
anitabuchan) wrote2006-10-13 07:26 pm
Wronged, Jack/Sky
Title: Wronged
Relationship: Jack/Sky (also Jack/Ally)
Rating: 15
A/N: Sequel to Loss (I blame![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
scifislasher). I'm not really happy with this. It's longer than most of my other fics, probably longer than it should be. Or not long enough. But I'm sick of re-writing it, so here it is.
A bar of orange light lit the room, shining through the curtains from the streetlight outside. Jack said she needed new ones. Ally didn’t want to tell him that she didn’t like the darkness, found it easier to sleep with a little light.
She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, admiring his sleeping profile. At times like this she felt smug and content, ready to think about the future and what it could bring. In the day, when he was awake…
Well. She was a fool if she expected perfection. Her aunt had married four times in search of it, and ended up nothing but bitter. Her mother had put up with her father working too late and forgetting her birthday, and she was happy.
Jack might have moods, and do things without thinking first, and sometimes be so reckless and impulsive and generally annoying that she could just kill him, but he was a hell of a lot better than any man she’d known before. He was good, and that meant a lot.
“Sky,” he murmured, still asleep.
Ally tried to feel surprised, conjure up fresh hurt, but she’d never had much practise at fooling herself. Not before this.
*
Sky forced himself to smile, and be friendly – as friendly as he ever was, anyway – and polite. He made himself joke with the others, laughing at Bridge’s attempts to dye his favourite green t-shirt blue.
He thought he did quite well, especially when they went to meet Jack – and her, of course.
Unfair of him to call her that. Wasn’t her fault. Jack was the bastard here.
But a confused bastard, if his expression when Sky turned up wearing red and acting like nothing had happened was anything to go by. What had he thought? That Sky would break down in tears, start begging Jack to take him back?
He’d be waiting a long time, if that was what he wanted. Sky reminded himself every night of all the fights he’d had with Jack, the annoyances, the times Jack had done things so unbelievably stupid that Sky could have killed him.
And that conversation, of course. He’d written the words he could remember down, to keep them fresh in his mind. He wouldn’t let himself forget, because forgetting would mean no longer feeling angry at Jack.
And he didn’t want to stop feeling angry. The feelings that might replace it scared him too much to think about.
*
Sky.
The first time she’d heard the name, Ally had assumed a girl: from the way Jack said it, as if he could caress the letters with his tongue. And the look on his face when he did: amused and affectionate, with deeper feelings beneath. She’d felt sure he was taken, and thought, lucky girl.
Then, not so lucky. What was Sky’s boyfriend doing, going out to dinner with Ally?
It was only later she’d learned Sky was male, and the Blue Ranger, Jack’s 2IC. By that time, Jack had made it clear he felt serious about Ally, wanted their relationship to go further. Ally, caught up in dark eyes and a laughing smile, didn’t feel like protesting. The fact he’d been with Sky (only a fling, he assured her, nothing serious) almost made her love him more. He didn’t care about the tubing, just the personality, and she’d been thrilled with how enlightened her new man was.
Except he wasn’t her man. He was Sky’s, and she realised it more everyday.
*
“Jack,” she said, her words all prepared. “Jack, we need to talk.”
“About Piggy?” he said, nodding. “I know. I don’t like the people he’s been talking to either. I thought he’d sorted himself out, you know? But it seems like…”
She felt the resolution drain out of her as Jack chattered on. Maybe, she thought, he’d get over Sky. These things took time. She could endure for now.
Her mother had always teased her about her lack of patience. Well. Maybe she should start trying to develop some.
*
She sat in her office, staring at the message before her. She’d written it down, not because she needed to remember the words, but because she didn’t know how she’d tell anyone else.
Not a tragedy, she reminded herself. Not really. Not like the ones you hear about everyday.
She still struggled not to cry.
In the outer office, a crash announced Jack’s arrival. “Jack?”
He came through, smile fading as he saw her face. “What is it?”
“There’s been a fire. My parent’s house.” The facts were easy to tell, her voice calm and controlled. “They’ve lost everything. I’ll need to go up there, help sort things out.”
“Oh, Ally,” he said, and the sympathy and tenderness in his voice brought a fresh lump to her throat. “I’ll pack for both of us, you don’t worry. We can – ”
“No.” The first time, he didn’t hear, and she had to clear her throat to say it again. “No. I’m going alone.”
He paused, staring at her, half-way round the desk from coming to hug her. “What?”
“You stay here.”
“Ally, if you’re worried about the business, we can just shut down for the time we’re away. This is more important.”
“I don’t want you to come, Jack.”
He just shook his head. “Why? What’s wrong?”
None of it was connected to what had happened, but the grief freed her tongue, letting the words spill out. “Because I just can’t deal with you right now, alright? Not on top of this.”
His face started to twist to anger, his back straightening. “What are you talking about?”
“Jack, I’m not blind, okay? And maybe I should have said this weeks ago, but I kept hoping…I mean, jeez, you seemed like such a perfect guy!”
He started to say something, but she talked right over him. “But, you know what you said, the other night, in your sleep? ‘Sky’. And that’s you all over. In the day, you have me, and at night, you dream about him. And I just can’t take you there – ” to her house, her home, where the places she’d hidden and played were now just wet ash – “And have to watch you thinking about him.”
She was crying, she realised. Great. With her luck, he’d put this all down to her being one of those overly-emotional female-types, and then she’d need a chainsaw to get rid of him.
At least he didn’t say anything, just watched her wipe her face with the back of her hand.
She sniffed, not bothering to search for a tissue. “You know your problem, Jack? You just don’t know what you want. You left SPD, but now you tape every news report, to work out how you would have done it better. And you left Sky, only to dream about him at night. And I’m sick of it. Maybe Sky put up with you, but I won’t, not anymore.”
She paused. He didn’t say anything, just stared at her as if he’d never seen her before.
“I don’t want you with me,” she said again. “And don’t think I’m saying all this because of what happened. It just means I haven’t got the patience anymore. I just used to think…you’d get over it, you know? And that I could wait till then.”
She wiped her face again, not even caring about the snot smearing the back of her hand. She needed to pack. Jack could look after the business; she wanted to get the first bus she could, just to see for herself her parents were unhurt.
“I need to go,” she said.
“Ally…” he said. “I love you.”
“Well, maybe I don’t love you.”
“Don’t say that.” He reached for her, and it was easier to let him, felt natural to lean against his chest and bury her face in his shoulder. “Ally, you’re upset. I get that, and we obviously have things we need to talk about. But now isn’t the time. Not when you’ve just got such bad news.”
She thumped his chest, and thought that Sky could probably have made it hurt. “Fuck off. I’m not saying this because I’m upset, I’m saying this because…” She took a step back from him, trying to calm down. “Because I…I don’t know.”
Maybe he was right, but saying that felt like accepting a defeat. So instead, she told him, “Go talk to Sky. If you do that, maybe we can try again when we get back.”
“I haven’t got anything to talk about with Sky.”
“Yeah? He’d probably like an apology for the way you keep calling his rangers to tell them how to do their jobs.” She’d probably have come calling with a grenade-launcher by this point. “I don’t care what you talk about, Jack. But if you want to be with me, get over him.”
He didn’t respond.
“I’m going. Look after the business.” She grabbed her purse, and headed for the door. “I’ll be back in a few weeks.”
He grabbed her hand, just before she left. His eyes looked almost desperate. “I do love you, Ally. I want to be with you.”
And what could she say to that?
*
Jack sat on a bench, head tilted back to stare at the clouds. A bird flew overhead, but Jack didn’t seem to hear it. Nor did he seem aware of the children screaming nearby, playing at Power Rangers for all Sky knew.
He paused before approaching, cursing himself for even opening the message. He didn’t want to see Jack. He didn’t want to talk to Jack. So why was he here?
Just as he decided to go, Jack looked towards him, leaving him with no choice but to approach. He didn’t sit on the bench, just stood in front of it.
Jack squinted up at him. “Not going to sit down?”
“No.”
Jack looked away, to some children playing. Finally, he said, “Ally told me I had to talk to you.”
Sky turned to walk away.
“Okay, I’m sorry! That was tactless, I know. I just…” Jack shook his head. “I think she broke up with me.”
He should keep walking. He should just keep going, out of the park and away from Jack.
“You think?” he asked instead.
“Her parents’ house burnt down. And she…well, she yelled a bit. She was crying. It wasn’t really very clear,” he said, as if that should explain things. “But it was clear enough.”
That made no sense, so Sky kept quiet.
“She told me to apologise,” said Jack, “For calling the others and telling them what they’d been doing wrong. And I am sorry, for doing that. You’re the Red Ranger now.”
Sky tried not to let it show that Jack calling the others was news to him. The others had never mentioned it, which was more than slightly unsettling. What if they still wanted Jack’s advice? Did they think Sky wasn’t a good enough Red Ranger?
But then he remembered that the odd time Z had mentioned Jack, she’d been quickly hushed by Bridge and Syd. None of them talked about the former Red Ranger anymore. Not with Sky, anyway.
Jack didn’t seem like he was going to say anything else, so Sky got to the point. “What do you want?”
Jack laughed. “I don’t know. That’s what she said. I don’t know what I want.”
“You don’t want to come back to SPD?” Sky wondered if he could cope, if Jack did. Would it mean back to wearing blue, back to following the orders of a man he now tried to hate?
They’d have to repaint the rooms again.
“I miss it,” said Jack, scaring him. “The morphing, the fighting. You can’t get a better adrenaline rush than that. And, you know, I love helping people, like I am now. But it’s not…it’s not enough. And I miss you.”
Sky, mouth open, forgot what he’d been about to say.
Jack leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to say that. It’s just…everything is happening too fast. I mean, I don’t even know if Ally’s caught her bus yet! I didn’t expect you to come, and now I don’t know what to say to you. Come sit down?”
Sky didn’t.
Jack sighed. “Fine. I’m sorry. Sorry for everything. What was going on between us, whatever it was, it meant something. I know that. But I love Ally, or I thought I did, and – I just feel like I want you both. And I’m not suggesting anything, believe me, but. I’m just trying to explain. That’s all.”
And not doing very well, thought Sky. What did Jack want him to say? That it was all okay, Sky didn’t mind?
His watch beeped. Jack looked up, face quickly settling into resignation. “Let me guess. You have to go.”
“Yes.”
Jack didn’t smile, didn’t stand, just looked at him. “I hate saying goodbye.”
“Then don’t,” said Sky, and turned to walk away.
*
“Ally?”
His voice was warm and familiar enough to make her want to cry. But she’d been doing enough of that, so she breathed in until she knew she would sound normal.
“Jack.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” She didn’t know if she could ever feel normal again. Telling Jack that would just lead to trouble. “Jack, we need to talk.”
“You don’t sound fine. Ally, we can talk later, when…”
“I called to tell you. My parents aren’t going to be continuing with the business. There isn’t enough money.”
“What? But, insurance – ”
Insurance couldn’t bring back their home. All the money in the world couldn’t fix the real problem, of exhaustion and grief. “Jack, just…don’t question it, alright? It’s their decision.”
“Yeah, of course. But what about you? Are you okay? You don’t sound well. Ally, I think I should – ”
She tuned him out. Once, before he’d left SPD, she’d been shocked by a bruise on his ribs: didn’t his ranger suit protect him from things like that?
He’d laughed. Wasn’t done by a monster, he explained. Sky had been pissed at him, and hit a little too hard in training.
Ally couldn’t have done that, bruised Jack. And she knew physical strength wasn’t the issue, but she still wished she had the ability to stand up to Jack in a fight.
Because Sky could have. She’d only met him once, but he wasn’t the type to back down. You could see it, written all over him.
Ally? She didn’t back down either. Not when she got annoyed and dug in her heels. But that was the problem. Jack didn’t annoy her, he made her relax and want to collapse into his arms. And she knew, if he was with her, she wouldn’t be organising things and comforting her parents. He’d be doing it.
Maybe she wasn’t his equal. Or maybe they just weren’t right for each other. All Ally knew, was that she didn’t feel string enough. Not anymore.
Which was all very self-pitying of her, but she felt like being self-pitying. Preferably self-pitying with ice-cream and cookies. “Jack, shut up.”
“What?”
“Jack, I just…I’ve changed my mind. I know I said that if you talked to Sky, we could have a second chance, but we can’t. I’m not coming back to Newtech.”
“What?”
“You need Sky. I’m too…” Feminine? Nice? Not passionate enough? Or just not Sky enough? “I’m just not right for you.”
Silence on his end, and she almost wished they had a visual link. But then he’d be able to see her face, and she didn’t want that.
“Ally,” he said finally, “You can’t keep using Sky as an excuse. If you don’t want to be with me, say so.”
She did want to be with him. She wanted for her parent’s house to not have burnt down, for she and Jack to be happy, for Sky to never have existed.
“Jack,” she said, “I don’t want to be with you,” feeling the hurt like pulling off a scab: sharp and satisfying.
*
The voices drifted out as he walked past the kitchen, and Sky paused when he heard his name.
“Do you think we should ask?” Z asked.
“Well, I don’t know,” came Bridge’s reply. “I mean, he and Jack, never exactly best friends before, right? And then something was going on between them, though they never really told us so I’m not sure if we’re supposed to know, but it’s obviously not now…”
“Do you think he’d want to come?”
“Do you think he’d want to be left behind?”
“Syd would stay. She looks pissy whenever I mention Jack.”
“Yeah, well, that’s just because she thinks he should have stayed with Sky or whatever, and that it’s a bit weird how he left so quickly, but then, I think we don’t really know what happened…”
“If they’d been serious, they would have told us,” said Z, with the air of someone who’d repeated something many times. “Therefore, it wasn’t. Jack would have told me.”
Except Sky that hadn’t wanted him to, so he hadn’t.
He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop, but then, neither should they talk about him behind his back. And it was too tempting. They never mentioned Jack to his face, any of them.
“I liked Ally,” said Bridge. “But I guess they weren’t serious either.”
“Yeah, she was cool. And she made Jack eat properly, which was something. He’ll probably starve to death now he’s living on his own.”
“I think we should go visit. We could have a housewarming party!”
“Bridge, the place is a dump. And three of us wouldn’t exactly make a good party, would we?”
“Piggy could come…”
Sky pulled back, thinking over new knowledge. Jack had been telling the truth, which probably should have felt surprising. A little voice pointed out that Jack had never lied to him before, but he decided to ignore it.
Better to keep believing he couldn’t trust anything Jack said.
*
Bridge and Z went to visit Jack’s flat, while Syd stayed behind and helped him sort through training records of C-squad cadets. One of them would become the new green ranger: Syd wanted another girl, to make up for her and Z being out-numbered for the past year. Sky just wanted someone who could follow orders and meet the high standards he set.
“Syd,” he asked, aware he was breaking a self-imposed rule, “Have you seen Jack recently?”
She shook her head. “Not since we all went together. Hey, what about this one?” She squinted at the photo. “I want to ask what she uses on her hair…”
“I heard Z and Bridge talking, a few days ago.”
“About going to visit Jack’s flat?”
“Didn’t you want to?”
“He left SPD,” she said, closing the file and opening another. He could tell she wasn’t paying attention to it: it was the first male she’d looked at for more than two seconds. “He didn’t even say goodbye. And…well. He’s got his new life now, hasn’t he?”
“He doesn’t like saying goodbyes,” said Sky, remembering Jack’s last words to him.
“Why are you defending him? Besides, according to Z, Piggy helped him decorate. You couldn’t pay me to go in there.” She paused, biting her lip. Sky waited for her to speak. “Did you hear about…” she trailed off.
“What?”
“Oh, it was just a rumour. I heard that…well, I heard something that reminded me of Jack.”
“What?” He hadn’t heard anything; but Syd paid more attention to the gossip than he did.
“Oh, something to do with helping street kids, getting them involved with SPD. Like Jack and Z, except hopefully they’re not all becoming rangers, because we’d pretty soon run out of morphers. You didn’t hear?”
“No,” said Sky, and made a mental note to find out more.
*
Two weeks later, out doing a foot-patrol, he didn’t feel much surprise when he saw Jack lurking in the shadows.
“I’m on duty,” he said.
Jack shrugged. “Yeah, and there’s nothing happening. I want to talk to you.”
This Jack seemed more like the Jack he remembered, than the man who’d sat on a bench with his head in his hands. Which didn’t help Sky. It would be too easy just to fall into old patterns of behaviour, remember what it was he’d…
He cut that thought off, reminding himself of blonde hair and a big smile. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“You know, I don’t remember offering a choice.”
“I’m on duty.”
“Yeah, and what are you going to do? Arrest me?”
Sky gritted his teeth, just imagining the reaction at the base if he tried that. No doubt Jack would end up wandering around, making everyone laugh, while Sky got a lecture from Cruger on why it was an abuse of power to arrest your ex-squad leader just because he was annoying.
“Will you just go away?”
“When I’ve talked to you.” He fell into step beside Sky, holding his hands behind his back. “Did the others tell you that Ally and I have broken up? For good?”
Sky wondered if ignoring him would work. He looked towards some trees, trying to pretend he couldn’t see Jack out the corner of his eye.
“She’s a great girl, really, but…well, I’d already met you. And, you know, she doesn’t need me. She put up with me for a while, but I think the fire showed her that she doesn’t really want me.” He shot Sky a grin, which Sky refused to acknowledge. “She just liked the sex.”
Okay, Sky did not need those mental images. Especially since they involved a naked Jack, which…well. He just felt glad it was dark, and Jack hopefully couldn’t see him flush.
“Fine, ignore me. I’ll keep talking anyway. Her parents have had to close down the business. They’re not in serious difficulty, but they’re not going to be giving much away for a while. Ally’s staying with them, to help. Which left me with nothing to do, so I went to see Cruger. And I know, I know. I think I’d gone temporarily insane.”
Sky tried to keep his face expressionless. Jack had seen Cruger? About returning to SPD?
“I don’t know how much you’ve heard about it,” said Jack, “But SPD’s setting up a crime prevention programme. Targeting street kids and such, trying to stop ‘em turning out like some of the criminals we dealt with. And, well…Cruger wants me to run it.”
Sky didn’t speak. He didn’t know if he’d be able to. He did notice he’d stopped walking, to stand and stare at Jack.
“I’m really excited about it, Sky. It’s going to be helping in a big way, a permanent way, in a way giving stuff out never was – though I will still be doing that. And it’s something only I can do, you see? Because I come from the streets like them, and yet, I was the Red Ranger! That’s proof they can do things, see?
“This is what I love, Sky, helping people like this, helping them actually improve their lives. Cruger’s giving me a team, and a budget, and even though it’s all SPD, it’s civilian, so no rules, see?”
“What we do is important too.” And what was wrong with the rules?
“I know, I know, but it’s not me. It was never what I wanted to do. But this – I am really psyched about this.”
He looked it, bright and grinning, exultation clear in his voice, and Sky wondered if he was doing this just to rub it in that he was happy, and Sky was not.
But then Jack reached out, to take one of Sky’s hands, and for some reason Sky let him.
“All of this,” said Jack, “Means I’m going to be around more. We’re going to be working together, even if not as closely as before. And I’ll keep it all professional if you want, but I needed to ask – is there any chance you would give me a second chance?”
He bit his lip, looking more uncertain than Sky had ever seen him before. “I know I’ve messed things up. Believe me, I know, and you have every right to hit me or walk away or whatever. But I know what I want now, and I’ve found something I’m happy doing. Before I was too confused, and…I’m sorry. To you, and Ally. And I understand if you want to say no, but if you do say yes, we’ll go slow. Do things properly. And follow the rules. Even the one about no sex till the third date.”
Sky did want to say no, but he wanted to say yes as well, just as much. “Jack…”
He trailed off, not knowing what to say. And he realised that Jack still held his hand, that he hadn’t pulled away yet. He probably should, but for now it felt warm, and comforting, and reminded him so intensely of everything he wanted to forget.
Everything he thought he wanted to forget.
Jack studied him, came to a conclusion, and smiled. “I shouldn’t be distracting you from your duty,” he said, making an unsuccessful attempt at looking apologetic. “I’ll see you around SPD. Like I said, Cruger wants us to work together, and I think it’ll be very important that we really do spend lots of time discussing these new ideas, and – ”
“Jack, I haven’t answered you yet!” He yanked his hand back.
“I know! So I’m giving you time to think about it. Time in which I’ll be around. A lot.” He gave one last grin, which promised annoyance in the future. “See you, Sky.”
Sky watched him go, wondering if there was some sort of penalty attached to hurling the nearest rock at your former leader’s head.
Better not, he decided. After all, it probably wouldn’t make much difference.
List of 22: Fire.
Relationship: Jack/Sky (also Jack/Ally)
Rating: 15
A/N: Sequel to Loss (I blame
scifislasher). I'm not really happy with this. It's longer than most of my other fics, probably longer than it should be. Or not long enough. But I'm sick of re-writing it, so here it is.A bar of orange light lit the room, shining through the curtains from the streetlight outside. Jack said she needed new ones. Ally didn’t want to tell him that she didn’t like the darkness, found it easier to sleep with a little light.
She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, admiring his sleeping profile. At times like this she felt smug and content, ready to think about the future and what it could bring. In the day, when he was awake…
Well. She was a fool if she expected perfection. Her aunt had married four times in search of it, and ended up nothing but bitter. Her mother had put up with her father working too late and forgetting her birthday, and she was happy.
Jack might have moods, and do things without thinking first, and sometimes be so reckless and impulsive and generally annoying that she could just kill him, but he was a hell of a lot better than any man she’d known before. He was good, and that meant a lot.
“Sky,” he murmured, still asleep.
Ally tried to feel surprised, conjure up fresh hurt, but she’d never had much practise at fooling herself. Not before this.
*
Sky forced himself to smile, and be friendly – as friendly as he ever was, anyway – and polite. He made himself joke with the others, laughing at Bridge’s attempts to dye his favourite green t-shirt blue.
He thought he did quite well, especially when they went to meet Jack – and her, of course.
Unfair of him to call her that. Wasn’t her fault. Jack was the bastard here.
But a confused bastard, if his expression when Sky turned up wearing red and acting like nothing had happened was anything to go by. What had he thought? That Sky would break down in tears, start begging Jack to take him back?
He’d be waiting a long time, if that was what he wanted. Sky reminded himself every night of all the fights he’d had with Jack, the annoyances, the times Jack had done things so unbelievably stupid that Sky could have killed him.
And that conversation, of course. He’d written the words he could remember down, to keep them fresh in his mind. He wouldn’t let himself forget, because forgetting would mean no longer feeling angry at Jack.
And he didn’t want to stop feeling angry. The feelings that might replace it scared him too much to think about.
*
Sky.
The first time she’d heard the name, Ally had assumed a girl: from the way Jack said it, as if he could caress the letters with his tongue. And the look on his face when he did: amused and affectionate, with deeper feelings beneath. She’d felt sure he was taken, and thought, lucky girl.
Then, not so lucky. What was Sky’s boyfriend doing, going out to dinner with Ally?
It was only later she’d learned Sky was male, and the Blue Ranger, Jack’s 2IC. By that time, Jack had made it clear he felt serious about Ally, wanted their relationship to go further. Ally, caught up in dark eyes and a laughing smile, didn’t feel like protesting. The fact he’d been with Sky (only a fling, he assured her, nothing serious) almost made her love him more. He didn’t care about the tubing, just the personality, and she’d been thrilled with how enlightened her new man was.
Except he wasn’t her man. He was Sky’s, and she realised it more everyday.
*
“Jack,” she said, her words all prepared. “Jack, we need to talk.”
“About Piggy?” he said, nodding. “I know. I don’t like the people he’s been talking to either. I thought he’d sorted himself out, you know? But it seems like…”
She felt the resolution drain out of her as Jack chattered on. Maybe, she thought, he’d get over Sky. These things took time. She could endure for now.
Her mother had always teased her about her lack of patience. Well. Maybe she should start trying to develop some.
*
She sat in her office, staring at the message before her. She’d written it down, not because she needed to remember the words, but because she didn’t know how she’d tell anyone else.
Not a tragedy, she reminded herself. Not really. Not like the ones you hear about everyday.
She still struggled not to cry.
In the outer office, a crash announced Jack’s arrival. “Jack?”
He came through, smile fading as he saw her face. “What is it?”
“There’s been a fire. My parent’s house.” The facts were easy to tell, her voice calm and controlled. “They’ve lost everything. I’ll need to go up there, help sort things out.”
“Oh, Ally,” he said, and the sympathy and tenderness in his voice brought a fresh lump to her throat. “I’ll pack for both of us, you don’t worry. We can – ”
“No.” The first time, he didn’t hear, and she had to clear her throat to say it again. “No. I’m going alone.”
He paused, staring at her, half-way round the desk from coming to hug her. “What?”
“You stay here.”
“Ally, if you’re worried about the business, we can just shut down for the time we’re away. This is more important.”
“I don’t want you to come, Jack.”
He just shook his head. “Why? What’s wrong?”
None of it was connected to what had happened, but the grief freed her tongue, letting the words spill out. “Because I just can’t deal with you right now, alright? Not on top of this.”
His face started to twist to anger, his back straightening. “What are you talking about?”
“Jack, I’m not blind, okay? And maybe I should have said this weeks ago, but I kept hoping…I mean, jeez, you seemed like such a perfect guy!”
He started to say something, but she talked right over him. “But, you know what you said, the other night, in your sleep? ‘Sky’. And that’s you all over. In the day, you have me, and at night, you dream about him. And I just can’t take you there – ” to her house, her home, where the places she’d hidden and played were now just wet ash – “And have to watch you thinking about him.”
She was crying, she realised. Great. With her luck, he’d put this all down to her being one of those overly-emotional female-types, and then she’d need a chainsaw to get rid of him.
At least he didn’t say anything, just watched her wipe her face with the back of her hand.
She sniffed, not bothering to search for a tissue. “You know your problem, Jack? You just don’t know what you want. You left SPD, but now you tape every news report, to work out how you would have done it better. And you left Sky, only to dream about him at night. And I’m sick of it. Maybe Sky put up with you, but I won’t, not anymore.”
She paused. He didn’t say anything, just stared at her as if he’d never seen her before.
“I don’t want you with me,” she said again. “And don’t think I’m saying all this because of what happened. It just means I haven’t got the patience anymore. I just used to think…you’d get over it, you know? And that I could wait till then.”
She wiped her face again, not even caring about the snot smearing the back of her hand. She needed to pack. Jack could look after the business; she wanted to get the first bus she could, just to see for herself her parents were unhurt.
“I need to go,” she said.
“Ally…” he said. “I love you.”
“Well, maybe I don’t love you.”
“Don’t say that.” He reached for her, and it was easier to let him, felt natural to lean against his chest and bury her face in his shoulder. “Ally, you’re upset. I get that, and we obviously have things we need to talk about. But now isn’t the time. Not when you’ve just got such bad news.”
She thumped his chest, and thought that Sky could probably have made it hurt. “Fuck off. I’m not saying this because I’m upset, I’m saying this because…” She took a step back from him, trying to calm down. “Because I…I don’t know.”
Maybe he was right, but saying that felt like accepting a defeat. So instead, she told him, “Go talk to Sky. If you do that, maybe we can try again when we get back.”
“I haven’t got anything to talk about with Sky.”
“Yeah? He’d probably like an apology for the way you keep calling his rangers to tell them how to do their jobs.” She’d probably have come calling with a grenade-launcher by this point. “I don’t care what you talk about, Jack. But if you want to be with me, get over him.”
He didn’t respond.
“I’m going. Look after the business.” She grabbed her purse, and headed for the door. “I’ll be back in a few weeks.”
He grabbed her hand, just before she left. His eyes looked almost desperate. “I do love you, Ally. I want to be with you.”
And what could she say to that?
*
Jack sat on a bench, head tilted back to stare at the clouds. A bird flew overhead, but Jack didn’t seem to hear it. Nor did he seem aware of the children screaming nearby, playing at Power Rangers for all Sky knew.
He paused before approaching, cursing himself for even opening the message. He didn’t want to see Jack. He didn’t want to talk to Jack. So why was he here?
Just as he decided to go, Jack looked towards him, leaving him with no choice but to approach. He didn’t sit on the bench, just stood in front of it.
Jack squinted up at him. “Not going to sit down?”
“No.”
Jack looked away, to some children playing. Finally, he said, “Ally told me I had to talk to you.”
Sky turned to walk away.
“Okay, I’m sorry! That was tactless, I know. I just…” Jack shook his head. “I think she broke up with me.”
He should keep walking. He should just keep going, out of the park and away from Jack.
“You think?” he asked instead.
“Her parents’ house burnt down. And she…well, she yelled a bit. She was crying. It wasn’t really very clear,” he said, as if that should explain things. “But it was clear enough.”
That made no sense, so Sky kept quiet.
“She told me to apologise,” said Jack, “For calling the others and telling them what they’d been doing wrong. And I am sorry, for doing that. You’re the Red Ranger now.”
Sky tried not to let it show that Jack calling the others was news to him. The others had never mentioned it, which was more than slightly unsettling. What if they still wanted Jack’s advice? Did they think Sky wasn’t a good enough Red Ranger?
But then he remembered that the odd time Z had mentioned Jack, she’d been quickly hushed by Bridge and Syd. None of them talked about the former Red Ranger anymore. Not with Sky, anyway.
Jack didn’t seem like he was going to say anything else, so Sky got to the point. “What do you want?”
Jack laughed. “I don’t know. That’s what she said. I don’t know what I want.”
“You don’t want to come back to SPD?” Sky wondered if he could cope, if Jack did. Would it mean back to wearing blue, back to following the orders of a man he now tried to hate?
They’d have to repaint the rooms again.
“I miss it,” said Jack, scaring him. “The morphing, the fighting. You can’t get a better adrenaline rush than that. And, you know, I love helping people, like I am now. But it’s not…it’s not enough. And I miss you.”
Sky, mouth open, forgot what he’d been about to say.
Jack leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to say that. It’s just…everything is happening too fast. I mean, I don’t even know if Ally’s caught her bus yet! I didn’t expect you to come, and now I don’t know what to say to you. Come sit down?”
Sky didn’t.
Jack sighed. “Fine. I’m sorry. Sorry for everything. What was going on between us, whatever it was, it meant something. I know that. But I love Ally, or I thought I did, and – I just feel like I want you both. And I’m not suggesting anything, believe me, but. I’m just trying to explain. That’s all.”
And not doing very well, thought Sky. What did Jack want him to say? That it was all okay, Sky didn’t mind?
His watch beeped. Jack looked up, face quickly settling into resignation. “Let me guess. You have to go.”
“Yes.”
Jack didn’t smile, didn’t stand, just looked at him. “I hate saying goodbye.”
“Then don’t,” said Sky, and turned to walk away.
*
“Ally?”
His voice was warm and familiar enough to make her want to cry. But she’d been doing enough of that, so she breathed in until she knew she would sound normal.
“Jack.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine.” She didn’t know if she could ever feel normal again. Telling Jack that would just lead to trouble. “Jack, we need to talk.”
“You don’t sound fine. Ally, we can talk later, when…”
“I called to tell you. My parents aren’t going to be continuing with the business. There isn’t enough money.”
“What? But, insurance – ”
Insurance couldn’t bring back their home. All the money in the world couldn’t fix the real problem, of exhaustion and grief. “Jack, just…don’t question it, alright? It’s their decision.”
“Yeah, of course. But what about you? Are you okay? You don’t sound well. Ally, I think I should – ”
She tuned him out. Once, before he’d left SPD, she’d been shocked by a bruise on his ribs: didn’t his ranger suit protect him from things like that?
He’d laughed. Wasn’t done by a monster, he explained. Sky had been pissed at him, and hit a little too hard in training.
Ally couldn’t have done that, bruised Jack. And she knew physical strength wasn’t the issue, but she still wished she had the ability to stand up to Jack in a fight.
Because Sky could have. She’d only met him once, but he wasn’t the type to back down. You could see it, written all over him.
Ally? She didn’t back down either. Not when she got annoyed and dug in her heels. But that was the problem. Jack didn’t annoy her, he made her relax and want to collapse into his arms. And she knew, if he was with her, she wouldn’t be organising things and comforting her parents. He’d be doing it.
Maybe she wasn’t his equal. Or maybe they just weren’t right for each other. All Ally knew, was that she didn’t feel string enough. Not anymore.
Which was all very self-pitying of her, but she felt like being self-pitying. Preferably self-pitying with ice-cream and cookies. “Jack, shut up.”
“What?”
“Jack, I just…I’ve changed my mind. I know I said that if you talked to Sky, we could have a second chance, but we can’t. I’m not coming back to Newtech.”
“What?”
“You need Sky. I’m too…” Feminine? Nice? Not passionate enough? Or just not Sky enough? “I’m just not right for you.”
Silence on his end, and she almost wished they had a visual link. But then he’d be able to see her face, and she didn’t want that.
“Ally,” he said finally, “You can’t keep using Sky as an excuse. If you don’t want to be with me, say so.”
She did want to be with him. She wanted for her parent’s house to not have burnt down, for she and Jack to be happy, for Sky to never have existed.
“Jack,” she said, “I don’t want to be with you,” feeling the hurt like pulling off a scab: sharp and satisfying.
*
The voices drifted out as he walked past the kitchen, and Sky paused when he heard his name.
“Do you think we should ask?” Z asked.
“Well, I don’t know,” came Bridge’s reply. “I mean, he and Jack, never exactly best friends before, right? And then something was going on between them, though they never really told us so I’m not sure if we’re supposed to know, but it’s obviously not now…”
“Do you think he’d want to come?”
“Do you think he’d want to be left behind?”
“Syd would stay. She looks pissy whenever I mention Jack.”
“Yeah, well, that’s just because she thinks he should have stayed with Sky or whatever, and that it’s a bit weird how he left so quickly, but then, I think we don’t really know what happened…”
“If they’d been serious, they would have told us,” said Z, with the air of someone who’d repeated something many times. “Therefore, it wasn’t. Jack would have told me.”
Except Sky that hadn’t wanted him to, so he hadn’t.
He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop, but then, neither should they talk about him behind his back. And it was too tempting. They never mentioned Jack to his face, any of them.
“I liked Ally,” said Bridge. “But I guess they weren’t serious either.”
“Yeah, she was cool. And she made Jack eat properly, which was something. He’ll probably starve to death now he’s living on his own.”
“I think we should go visit. We could have a housewarming party!”
“Bridge, the place is a dump. And three of us wouldn’t exactly make a good party, would we?”
“Piggy could come…”
Sky pulled back, thinking over new knowledge. Jack had been telling the truth, which probably should have felt surprising. A little voice pointed out that Jack had never lied to him before, but he decided to ignore it.
Better to keep believing he couldn’t trust anything Jack said.
*
Bridge and Z went to visit Jack’s flat, while Syd stayed behind and helped him sort through training records of C-squad cadets. One of them would become the new green ranger: Syd wanted another girl, to make up for her and Z being out-numbered for the past year. Sky just wanted someone who could follow orders and meet the high standards he set.
“Syd,” he asked, aware he was breaking a self-imposed rule, “Have you seen Jack recently?”
She shook her head. “Not since we all went together. Hey, what about this one?” She squinted at the photo. “I want to ask what she uses on her hair…”
“I heard Z and Bridge talking, a few days ago.”
“About going to visit Jack’s flat?”
“Didn’t you want to?”
“He left SPD,” she said, closing the file and opening another. He could tell she wasn’t paying attention to it: it was the first male she’d looked at for more than two seconds. “He didn’t even say goodbye. And…well. He’s got his new life now, hasn’t he?”
“He doesn’t like saying goodbyes,” said Sky, remembering Jack’s last words to him.
“Why are you defending him? Besides, according to Z, Piggy helped him decorate. You couldn’t pay me to go in there.” She paused, biting her lip. Sky waited for her to speak. “Did you hear about…” she trailed off.
“What?”
“Oh, it was just a rumour. I heard that…well, I heard something that reminded me of Jack.”
“What?” He hadn’t heard anything; but Syd paid more attention to the gossip than he did.
“Oh, something to do with helping street kids, getting them involved with SPD. Like Jack and Z, except hopefully they’re not all becoming rangers, because we’d pretty soon run out of morphers. You didn’t hear?”
“No,” said Sky, and made a mental note to find out more.
*
Two weeks later, out doing a foot-patrol, he didn’t feel much surprise when he saw Jack lurking in the shadows.
“I’m on duty,” he said.
Jack shrugged. “Yeah, and there’s nothing happening. I want to talk to you.”
This Jack seemed more like the Jack he remembered, than the man who’d sat on a bench with his head in his hands. Which didn’t help Sky. It would be too easy just to fall into old patterns of behaviour, remember what it was he’d…
He cut that thought off, reminding himself of blonde hair and a big smile. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“You know, I don’t remember offering a choice.”
“I’m on duty.”
“Yeah, and what are you going to do? Arrest me?”
Sky gritted his teeth, just imagining the reaction at the base if he tried that. No doubt Jack would end up wandering around, making everyone laugh, while Sky got a lecture from Cruger on why it was an abuse of power to arrest your ex-squad leader just because he was annoying.
“Will you just go away?”
“When I’ve talked to you.” He fell into step beside Sky, holding his hands behind his back. “Did the others tell you that Ally and I have broken up? For good?”
Sky wondered if ignoring him would work. He looked towards some trees, trying to pretend he couldn’t see Jack out the corner of his eye.
“She’s a great girl, really, but…well, I’d already met you. And, you know, she doesn’t need me. She put up with me for a while, but I think the fire showed her that she doesn’t really want me.” He shot Sky a grin, which Sky refused to acknowledge. “She just liked the sex.”
Okay, Sky did not need those mental images. Especially since they involved a naked Jack, which…well. He just felt glad it was dark, and Jack hopefully couldn’t see him flush.
“Fine, ignore me. I’ll keep talking anyway. Her parents have had to close down the business. They’re not in serious difficulty, but they’re not going to be giving much away for a while. Ally’s staying with them, to help. Which left me with nothing to do, so I went to see Cruger. And I know, I know. I think I’d gone temporarily insane.”
Sky tried to keep his face expressionless. Jack had seen Cruger? About returning to SPD?
“I don’t know how much you’ve heard about it,” said Jack, “But SPD’s setting up a crime prevention programme. Targeting street kids and such, trying to stop ‘em turning out like some of the criminals we dealt with. And, well…Cruger wants me to run it.”
Sky didn’t speak. He didn’t know if he’d be able to. He did notice he’d stopped walking, to stand and stare at Jack.
“I’m really excited about it, Sky. It’s going to be helping in a big way, a permanent way, in a way giving stuff out never was – though I will still be doing that. And it’s something only I can do, you see? Because I come from the streets like them, and yet, I was the Red Ranger! That’s proof they can do things, see?
“This is what I love, Sky, helping people like this, helping them actually improve their lives. Cruger’s giving me a team, and a budget, and even though it’s all SPD, it’s civilian, so no rules, see?”
“What we do is important too.” And what was wrong with the rules?
“I know, I know, but it’s not me. It was never what I wanted to do. But this – I am really psyched about this.”
He looked it, bright and grinning, exultation clear in his voice, and Sky wondered if he was doing this just to rub it in that he was happy, and Sky was not.
But then Jack reached out, to take one of Sky’s hands, and for some reason Sky let him.
“All of this,” said Jack, “Means I’m going to be around more. We’re going to be working together, even if not as closely as before. And I’ll keep it all professional if you want, but I needed to ask – is there any chance you would give me a second chance?”
He bit his lip, looking more uncertain than Sky had ever seen him before. “I know I’ve messed things up. Believe me, I know, and you have every right to hit me or walk away or whatever. But I know what I want now, and I’ve found something I’m happy doing. Before I was too confused, and…I’m sorry. To you, and Ally. And I understand if you want to say no, but if you do say yes, we’ll go slow. Do things properly. And follow the rules. Even the one about no sex till the third date.”
Sky did want to say no, but he wanted to say yes as well, just as much. “Jack…”
He trailed off, not knowing what to say. And he realised that Jack still held his hand, that he hadn’t pulled away yet. He probably should, but for now it felt warm, and comforting, and reminded him so intensely of everything he wanted to forget.
Everything he thought he wanted to forget.
Jack studied him, came to a conclusion, and smiled. “I shouldn’t be distracting you from your duty,” he said, making an unsuccessful attempt at looking apologetic. “I’ll see you around SPD. Like I said, Cruger wants us to work together, and I think it’ll be very important that we really do spend lots of time discussing these new ideas, and – ”
“Jack, I haven’t answered you yet!” He yanked his hand back.
“I know! So I’m giving you time to think about it. Time in which I’ll be around. A lot.” He gave one last grin, which promised annoyance in the future. “See you, Sky.”
Sky watched him go, wondering if there was some sort of penalty attached to hurling the nearest rock at your former leader’s head.
Better not, he decided. After all, it probably wouldn’t make much difference.
List of 22: Fire.